The Midlife

No, I’m not going to review the 2000 blockbuster featuring Nic Cage and Angelina Jolie, although I would have given it a thumbs up for sure. I wanted to slow rant about an encounter I experienced. Basically, I’m wondering if I’m petty or not petty. You, dear reader, be the judge.

It was 7:59 at my place of business. Closing time (cue the catchy Semisonic tune for a little atmospheric perspective) is 8 pm. An older gentleman (and I use the word gentleman with a heaping spoonful of irony here) graced me with a belligerent, “I know what time it is,” when I reminded him that we are closing at 8 pm. He said he knew what time it was without stopping. Yes, he gave me the mean walk and talk. And said grouchy timekeeper thought he could successfully come into my place of business, go through a business transaction, and leave within the 60 seconds needed to successfully transact and leave on time. I know, you’re as surprised as I am that that didn’t happen. It took a few minutes, and on the way out Mr. Grumblestiltskin said, “You could have been less rude.” Heh.

So, it had me wondering, was I the rude one, really? In the grand scheme of things a few minutes isn’t life changing nor should it be anger producing. But it did keep my co-workers there for what would be considered very much a non-emergency. I compiled an extremely short list of acceptable reasons to keep a place of business open beyond it’s regularly scheduled schedule.

1. Extreme diarrhea and/or a bladder full of fullness. As someone who was once forced to have car diarrhea in an oversized Toys R Us bag, I understand that when you have to go to the bathroom, establishments should answer nature’s call and take one for the team. Also, included in this would be any passenger in your party that experiences the aforementioned sitch, especially children.
2. If waiting overnight would cause severe pain involving tears, then pain and tears trump any potential judgment. For example: If a pharmacy closing on time separates you from treating the extreme discomfort associated with an ear infection or UTI, it’s not acceptable for the business not to accommodate in my humble opinion.
3. The last _______ is there, and you absolutely need it or life will lack meaning/purpose/insert other extreme opinion. I know this last one is selfish and self-serving. However, if the business is going to sell said thing anyway and to quote my favorite boy band song: “It’s Gonna Be Me,” getting that last ________________.

Finally, I think being considered rude has to involve more than words. My facial expression was largely obstructed by my mask, so all he really saw were my number 11 “concern” lines and heard my disappointed voice. (I didn’t tell him I was disappointed or that he was rude for wearing his mask with his nostrils showing.)