The Midlife

A comment I received this week had me thinking a lot about women’s faces and aging. I’m 47 and not quite at the age where people might say, Oh she must have been pretty …. once. Or She has a handsome face. And believe me, none of those comments would truly be insulting. And nor should they be. And why should I care?

Before I share the comment, the situation had me thinking about a book I had read a few months ago. A book by, none other than, Justine Bateman. Yes, Mallory from Family Ties, a show that was prime TV watching in the 80s. It was my introduction to the fantastic Michael J. Fox and the iconic Keaton family. So, about the book. Face: One Square Foot of Skin. It’s a book of short stories by women at various stages of life and the overall theme is the ridiculous importance of staying youthful looking and what happens when the signs of time show on women’s faces. At the time, I had been coming to terms with the fact that I’m getting older and my body and face are going through changes: some great, some not so great.

If you are a middle-aged woman, I think you will have certain feelings about the book; perhaps, you may find a connection to one of the stories. I did. It had me wondering why I sometimes buy into the notion that age is something to defy. That the lines that have formed around my mouth weren’t because of periods of laughter and great joy. That my Number 11s aren’t because of my inability not to think deeply about certain things, and how they reflect back on my face. Our faces are the road maps of the times and years we’ve traveled. The people who have affected us; their lasting impressions made on our faces; our shared experiences. Why would women want to erase that?

It reminded me of a migraine treatment commercial I’ve seen so many times. The one Khloe Kardashian is in with her daughter. They’re eating popcorn and smiling at each other; I can’t help but wonder if the daughter is smiling because she’s wondering if that woman, Khloe Kardashian, is in fact her mom. Because Khloe Kardashian looks nothing like she used to look. I applaud weight loss for health reasons and for feeling good about yourself; I’m all for a little nose contour, although I’ve never mastered the makeup technique. But that’s not what I’m seeing. I’m seeing a completely plastic version of what Khloe used to be. And if that makes her feel better about herself, that’s fine. But when did complete body transformation become so commonplace? Is that what it means by Keeping Up with the Kardashians?

I return now to the comment said about me, in front of me, about my face. I attempted to ask a teen customer a question, and she didn’t want to talk to me. Her friend said, “I know she looks scary, but she’s really nice.” I never asked the teen the question. And I didn’t ask the other what she meant by scary. I walked away graciously, with my head held high.

So, dear reader, what are your thoughts on aging? Are you pro-wrinkles, pro-plastic surgery, both, or indifferent? Would love to read your comments below or at themidlife2021@gmail.com. Here’s to facing a great week ahead.