The Midlife

With the holiday season already in full swing, I’ve already watched my all-time favorite holiday movie two times, much to the chagrin of my loving husband. Much like black licorice and candy corn, I think the popularity of Home Alone is polarizing for many. Most people I have spoken to either really love Home Alone or really hate it. There is very little in between. (My bestie at work hates Home Alone. If I were to suggest a screening of it for my students, she would surely call out dead.) I get it. There is much to criticize and pick apart. Therefore, I’m taking the time here to defend my favorite holiday film, but I will also include some of my WTF were they thinking bits, to keep it balanced.

1. It’s nearly indisputable how adorable Macaulay Culkin is in this film. From his doe-eyes and pillow lips and smile, to the screaming in front of the mirror to waving at the Wet Bandits as they get arrested (spoiler alert), he’s adorable. If I were Macaulay Culkin’s character Kevin McCallister, I would have surely lost my mind if my parents flew to Paris without me. But Kevin stays cool, collected, and cute all throughout this traumatic experience. It’s no surprise the adorable Macaulay grew up to win the love of Mila Kunis.
2. You have to appreciate Kevin’s ingenuity with trying to save his home from Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern (Harry and Marv, respectively)’s attempts at burglary. Now, I don’t condone violence. I am pretty sure in the real world, Kevin would have been sent to a juvenile detention center for voluntary manslaughter. However, I marvel at his creativity – in particular the cardboard cutouts and fake house party, in addition to the zip line to his tree house are epic. Even the way he disguises himself in the church’s life-size nativity scene is smart. As far as his dangerous booby traps go, the iron in the face and nails in the steps are savage.
3. I like how the film highlights that we shouldn’t judge people by appearances alone. For example, the old man who is his neighbor who looks a lot like the deadly Fisherman in the I Know What You Did Last Summer movies. He not only shows himself to be his savior in the end, Kevin manages to help him sort out his own life baggage with his son. Just goes to show that whether you are young or old, don’t rely on any pre-conceived notions about others. You might be surprised.
4. The only reason Child Protective Services isn’t called on the mom is because the mom is Catherine O’Hara. I mean, not only would she later bring the phrase Fold in The Cheese to our collective hearts and souls, she manages to leave her kid alone and then immediately go into crisis management mode like a queen. I must point out, however, that she must be a relentless mom if she drives in a moving van with polka musicians, all men and all strangers, except for a short conversation with John Candy.
5. There is a reason Home Alone was never remade with a Latinx cast. As soon as Kevin calls his mom a dummy (when they argue before he is sent to the attic), the argument would have ended with a paliza (smackdown) of epic proportions. And then it would have been followed up with another chancleta (flip flop) tapping in the morning. Home Alone would have been a Latinx short.
6. My Home Alone love ends with the first film. I’ve never been a fan of sequels or follow-up films. They tend to mire the appeal of the original. (However, I do wish they would have made a Moana sequel.) When the family reunites with Kevin and laughs off the fact he brushes with death when he falls from Buzz’s shelves and destroys his bedroom, my heart is warmed. I always cry when Catherine O’Hara apologizes for leaving him alone and Kevin acts like he’s still pissed off (and not really an ungrateful brat) before bringing her in for a warm embrace. What can I say? I’m a sucker for a cinematic happy ending: One where kids will be kids, parents will forget their kids from time to time and not be penalized for it, and people get told to keep the change (You filthy animal!).

What do you think dear reader? Is Home Alone a smash or trash? What is your favorite holiday film? Please leave a comment or an email to themidlife2021@gmail.com. Until next time, have a great week ahead.