The Midlife

With Spring time in full bloom (yes, I went there), there is an overall feeling of renewal in me. The hope for better things on the horizon is palpable. To quote one of my OG movies, West Side Story, “Something’s coming…” and I’m ready for it to be great. Speaking of better things, have you seen Better Things (on FX and streaming on Hulu). If you haven’t done so, I’m highly encouraging you to watch. You can even rent the series from the library, so there are no excuses.

In this gut-punch of a dramedy, we follow Sam Fox, divorced mom of three daughters. She works as a voiceover (and sometimes featured) actress. Here in series life, real life is purely imitated through the epic performances by Pamela Adlon. (She’s Bobby Hill in King of the Hill and the fantastic Marcy Runkle from Californication, to name only a couple of stellar characterizations.) A quick IMDB verification took me down a rabbit hole of her varied roles, including her voice of Mrs. Wolowitz on The Big Bang Theory, but I digress. Much like Sam Fox, Pamela Adlon raised three daughters alone. Oh and she created the series, wrote a majority of the episodes, and directed much of the episodes.

Her portrayal of Sam Fox is so pure and honest. She’s a real woman in her fifties navigating midlife like a boss, and showing the real-life aspects of midlife and womanhood that aren’t openly discussed. Stuff like menopause, the invisibility women of a certain age feel, the power of using our voices without apology. The dialogue could be overheard similarly at any dinner table. In fact, many of the episodes feel like you are a voyeur to someone’s delicious conversation. Conversations run the gamut of blunt, fierce, hilariously real and tender all at once.

Sam’s aesthetic is timeless, non-traditional, and classic like an old Hollywood film with rock-and-roll edge. Sam’s approach to parenting captures the bittersweet feeling of holding on as tightly as possible while also learning to let go. Her heart is exposed with vulnerability, the one in knowing that our children are only ours for what feels like mere moments. The feeling of profound love a parent feels for their child can be overwhelming knowing our priority is to launch them into their own worlds. We want them to be prepared and learn from the inevitable mistakes. Pamela Adlon’s Sam Fox goes there in the most beautiful ways.

I bring up Better Things, because the series finale aired last week. I laughed and cried. For five seasons, Pamela Adlon shared her stories through an incredible ensemble cast of powerful actors. The actors that play her daughters have grown into their own as artists. Sam’s mother, played by Celia Imrie, shines a light on aging, its challenges and ailments, and with a fiery gentleness. You’ll even find Diedrich Bader on the show; he played Peter’s goofy neighbor in the film Office Space.

This post is a love letter to Pamela Adlon for bringing to TV a show of magic without illusions of any one way to live our lives or parent our kids. It is all about family and at its heart, there is a notion that good things are coming. Better things are coming our way.

Dear reader, please drop a comment or email to themidlife2021@gmail.com to let me know your thoughts on the show. Until next time… -C:)