The Midlife

No, you are not viewing a page from an anatomy textbook. This contraption is what was placed on my daughter’s teeth this week. Braces will follow. As I’ve grown used to the many dollar signs this will entail, I keep telling myself it will all be worth it.

I never wore braces as a kid, but I would have benefitted from doing so. I always thought it would be cool to wear braces, like some of my friends did. I even placed aluminum foil in my mouth, as a nerdy version of pretend. I ended up wearing retainers for a time, although my bottom teeth remain crooked today. That’s what we call a testament to building character, readers. Building character!

I wore two sets of retainers, because I lost my first set. Out at dinner at Ponderosa or Sizzler (remember them?), I had placed my saliva-laced retainer in a napkin and, accidentally, had it thrown away. My mom was so pissed off at me. Sorry, Mom. Thanks for helping fix my upper teeth.

So, the dental contraption above is a palate extender. And my husband and I have to turn the key on it every night for the next 21 days. The first night was a complete nightmare, as I quickly forgot the instructions in how to turn the screw located in the center of the extender. (They even give you a key to turn it, and it looks a bit like a scalpel, but with a bendable point.) In my dumb defense, the instructions were given to me so quickly. I should have paid better attention; however, I am grateful for YouTube videos.

When my daughter’s smile is that of a supermodel entrepreneur multi-millionaire Pulitzer/Nobel prize winner, it will all have been worth it. One key turn at a time.