The Midlife

Over the past couple of weeks, the cold/ear infection fairy spread her magic to our household and disappeared just in time for … you guessed it … Back to School Time! Is anyone else excited?

While I love summertime, except for the extreme heat and resulting thigh chafing, nothing beats Back to School season. Pumpkin Spice Lattes are on the coffee menus, the synthetic scent of plastic folders perfumes the air, and new outfits mark the molting of summer and the segue to the holiday season. Yesssss!!!

As a kid, I remember heading to the Ben Franklin to pick up my Trapper Keeper, Lisa Frank-ish notebooks, and some sort of cartoon-themed lunch box. (Bonus: If you walked away with an oversized pen or pencil with some sort of feather or eye-catching doodad connected by a spring.) Note: For the latter, I gladly rocked a yellow Garfield lunch box until eighth grade, although this is more of an indicator of my mid-level coolness/social status. Even today, I am known to buy colored pens and pencils for sentimental purposes only.

As I’m prepping my second grader’s backpack for her first day, I’m marveling at the stack of half-full notebooks left from her kindergarten and first years of school. This is not only a reminder of how I hate to waste but also my acknowledgement of how elementary school students are incapable of filling an entire notebook by school year’s end. If I passed away tomorrow, I could be buried in a coffin of paper only four years into my child’s academic career. Or I could use it to light a future bonfire, wherein I dump all of my Covid-19 masks. (Hear that, Monkeypox? Stay away!)

Tomorrow, social media will blow up with the beautiful photos of our kids, many of whom will be holding signs or mini-dry erase boards spotlighting their grade in school. I love seeing these and will likely post something, as well. My Cuban mom – God bless her – lost the memo on this practice. Although, in her defense, following the trend would have involved too many Polaroids or a days-long wait on the photo lab. My mom was more into living in the moment, rather than feeling the need to record it at all times. Perhaps, she had it right all along.

One of my favorite school prep rituals is the fresh haircut. Something about lopping off an inch or two of dead ends is the equivalent of snake molting. A renewal exists. As my daughter and I sat in individual stylists’ chairs preparing to be transformed into America’s Next Top Model Citizens at the Hair Cuttery, I relaxed. As K-Co, my stylist, gently massaged my scalp while I almost fell asleep in the shampoo chair, I thought to myself: If I ever hit the Mega Millions, having someone shampoo my hair for me in this manner would be the ultimate indulgence. That and having a hot man serve me daily breakfast in bed while wearing a police uniform. Protect and serve.

Lastly, all the school stuff talk had me wondering when giving apples to teachers was a thing. It turns out, apple polishing (Google it.) dates back to the 1920s. If I were a teacher, my version would include students bringing any of the following: Diet Pepsi, Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Boba tea, colorful eyeshadow, or colored pens. And please?! No more notebooks.

Dear reader, what is your favorite part of the fall season? Please leave a comment or message me at themidlife2021@gmail.com. Have a great week! -C:)