The Midlife

We’re nearing Thanksgiving, among my favorite holidays (ranked second place to Halloween). Although I tell myself I’m not going to get stressed about meal prep and timing, I often do. This year, I’m making the conscious effort not to worry intentionally, so I can really focus on the things that truly matter, what the holiday is truly intended to celebrate: Time with loved ones and appreciation of the families we are born into and the ones we build. Here are a few things (both serious and not so serious) that I am appreciating.

1. A biweekly paycheck. A couple of weeks ago, I was one of the unfortunate souls briefly effected by the national banking error impacting the direct deposits of thousands. For the past 17 years, I’ve grown to count on my paycheck being in my account on Friday morning every two weeks. When there was a hiccup, later resolved, and I didn’t get paid until the next afternoon, the world felt like it came to a standstill. And while the matter could have been far worse, it left me with the realization that I need to save more money and that I’m fortunate to be able to provide for myself and for my family.
2. Matthew Perry. Although in retrospect, Friends was not a very diverse show. (In fact, my bestie often reminds me that black people didn’t watch Friends because there were no black people on it.) For it’s time, the show had been a fun part of my post-high school life. I wanted to live in an apartment in New York with my best friends and have more of my best friends living across the hallway. I wanted to drink coffee with my best friends at the neighborhood coffee shop and laugh about my dating problems and search for love. And a large part of this TV camaraderie was because of Matthew Perry, who died unexpectedly last month. After his passing, I started reading his book Friends, Lovers, and The Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir. In it he opens up in an often humorous and sometimes seriously honest account of his battles with drugs and alcohol. I highly recommend it. Aside from his acting legacy, I think the book is going to help a lot of people.
3. The kindness of friendly folks. A few days ago, a long-time customer died. He had been quietly battling cancer, unbeknownst to many. I had met him more than a decade ago, and had not seen him again until the last three years. Over the years, I had known of his family a bit, as he did mine. Although we were not quite friends, his regular presence at my work over the years made him a bit of a fixture. He’d ask about my daughter or comment about the weather or football. He was in the background often. When I noticed he stopped visiting, I grew concerned. After some sleuthing, I learned he died of skin cancer; he was only 57. I’m going to miss him. I wrote his son to let him know I would, too. The day after the news broke of his death, I found myself still looking for him, even though I knew he was gone. I’ll remember he was always kind to me, and I was grateful in my own small way that maybe I brought him some small joy by exchanging pleasantries over the years.
4. Toilet paper. Remember during the pandemic when everyone was on the Mission Impossible: Operation TP Capture? Toilet paper (and paper towels) were like the last Cabbage Patch Kid in the 80s – a rare and beautiful find. I’m glad to find toilet paper in abundance at the local Walmart, again. Don’t get me started, however, on the high price of a 30-roll pack.
5. Black Cohosh. For my menopausal mamas, if you are looking for reasonable freedom from hot flashes, I recommend taking black cohosh daily. No longer am I drowning in a sea of my own perspiration at night. 10/10 recommend!
6. The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. A traditional must-see every Thanksgiving, the MTDP is not only a preview of the holiday season with its float pageantry and awkward TV host banter, it serves as some built-in procrastination from preparing the day’s big meal. Sitting with coffee and the parade is the ultimate beautiful distraction from a hot kitchen of cooking side dishes and starters. That pumpkin pie can wait, here comes Al Roker!

So dear reader, what are you thankful for? Please leave a comment below. And know I appreciate your taking the time to read this post. Happy Turkey Day!