The Midlife

I used to hate that period of time between December 26 and December 31 at 11:59 pm. That familiar in-between time of the holiday season and the discovery of what awaits us in the new year. I’m choosing this year to use that time for reflection and getting my head and heart ready.

This holiday season, I chose not to stress out about the what ifs and how much-es. It’s very easy to be like the lemmings walking in a robot-like trance to the checkout lines making sure the perfect gift is bought and wrapped, cue the grumpy crowds of long lines. Don’t get me wrong, I love finding the perfect gift for each loved one; this year, I chose more meaningful experiences (a fun dinner at a new place) over gifts well greeted yet hardly touched. I found more joy in the process rather than the despair of necessity.

As we usher in another year, rather than draft a list of resolutions I may easily break, I’m choosing to embrace a few goals, ones that will make me better, not bitter. Here are a few:

1. Keep it simple, sis. 2024 will be the year of simplifying my life. Minimalism has intrigued me over the years. If you ever read the books or watch the YouTuber Joshua Becker, you’ll understand how seductive he makes minimalism appear. I’m taking minimalism one step further. No only am I on the quest to declutter the things I no longer use (and would benefit another user), but remove the habits (overthinking) things (papers), and the relationships (unnamed, as to respect their privacy) that no longer bring lasting joy.
2. Lose 15 pounds. I will slip back to the age old resolution of new year’s past, present, and future. Less about vanity and more about health, I’m holding myself accountable to this because Menopause has me fluffier than I’d like, and Summer 2024 is going to be Hot Carmen Summer. I said what I said.
3. Date nights are a must. My husband and I don’t have date nights often. Now, we are not fancy folks, so by date night I really mean Netflix and Take Out. If this leads to Netflix and Chillin’, bonus.
4. Shed the chrysalis. While I have always been a homebody, I do enjoy socializing on occasion. I’m what you would call an extroverted introvert. So going out, for me, could be meeting my friend at Walmart for a shop and talk (which I did, today, as a matter of fact). The bottom line is we only have a set amount of time on this planet. Let’s not waste it with regret. I would regret not seeing my loved ones more.
5. Listen to the rain. Slow down to listen to my daughter tell me a lengthy story. Hold the door for the person behind you and don’t let it bother you if they don’t say thank you. Pause. Slow down and stop to look at newborn babies bundled up with their chubby cheeks sagging. Relish the beauty of simplicity.
6. Realize I am enough. Now, back to the bagel reference. As I started this reflection on the past year and my hopes for the new one ahead, I thought about bagels. Someone invented a pastry with a hole in it. And people love them. I, for one, am a huge fan. Yet they are complete and wonderful as they are. So, on the days I am feeling less than or not enough, I will realize that someone (in fact a few someones) love me for my own unique, messy, and lovable ways. I am enough, as I am.

Dear reader, what are your plans for 2024? Please comment or email me. I would love to hear from you. In the meantime, may the new year bring you all that you long for and need.