The Midlife

My best teacher is 9

This is my lady!

My daughter turned 9 last week. Here are nine things I’ve learned as a parent:

1. Moms are warriors. They persist against all odds and all levels of tired. Good moms, I mean. I spent the greater part of a year sleeping in a recliner with my daughter sleeping on a Boppy pillow in my lap. It was the only way I could sleep and nurse that first year. It may explain why I now have lower back issues, but it’s all for love.
2. Time management is my saving grace. I can drop off my daughter at the bus stop (or at school when we sometimes miss it), get to work early, work my butt off, come home to help her with homework and get her to shower and take care of herself. Rinse and repeat repeat repeat.
3. It’s OK to get lost. I mean literally sometimes when I am taking my daughter to a camp or birthday party. Or sometimes I’m figuratively lost, without a solution to something going on at home or work. Given the time to process, the answers and guidance eventually arrive, much like me at my next destination.
4. I’m grateful for a partner in crime: my husband. Sometimes when the poop is hitting the fan hard, it’s nice to know I’m not alone in this parenting journey. Some days are so joyous and full of laughter. Other days are sucky and confusing. But we are together taking it one day at a time, often one moment or stage at a time.
5. Modesty is overrated. I never fully disrobed when it was time to “dress out” for gym class in high school. Going to the gynecologist once caused butt sweating to the paper anxiety. After 49 years and one child, I don’t care. Chit chat with me during my breast exam, Doc. I’ll even look you in the eyes. Having a C-section humbled me and made me value my body in all of its imperfect glory.
6. Kids teach us more than we teach them. I remember when we brought our daughter home from the hospital. I had never babysat, and here I was: 40 years old and responsible for keeping a child alive. Even in the early days, my daughter has been a guiding force in my parenting. When I fumbled with a onesie or sat in traffic during a heavy snowstorm, with only the two of us (and George Michael’s Last Christmas on repeat), she was teaching me patience and the wisdom of stillness. She tries to teach me how to play Minecraft or make paper dragon puppets. I’m in awe of her smarts. More examples abound.
7. It’s OK to change your mind and explore different things. One day my daughter declares: I hate mushrooms. Next thing I know, she likes to eat mushrooms and loves drawing them. Last year, she was into Pokemon. This year, she’s all about cats and dressing up like them. Every choice is confidently selected. I want to be more like her every day.
8. I have an inner Nightingale. Despite my father being a doctor, my mom being a nurse’s aide, and my sister working as a nurse for decades, I’m not what you would call a medical-type. However, being a parent forces you to learn about illnesses and how to quickly treat them. In fact, over the years we’ve battled Covid, Strep, RSV, hives, stomach flu, ear infections, and hand, foot, and mouth, just to name a few. Not too bad for someone who can’t stand the sight of blood.
9. Just when I think, I’ve got this …. guess what? I don’t. But I’m working on it. Every day. Some days are smooth. Others are rocky. Let’s see where it goes…