The Midlife

Happy New Year! It’s been a while since I posted last. Sometimes life just starts lifing, and things get pushed to the side. This was one of those things.

How are you? Do you find yourself antsy and anxious between Christmas (if you celebrate) and the new year? Me, too! As soon as the last gift is opened, I’m wondering what the new year will hold. Will I unlock the mystery of life’s every happiness and look amazing while doing it? Will my friends and loved ones all succeed in our year’s goals and travel the world like rock stars and Lost Kardashians? Lol, as if.

I live with anxiety and am chronically responsible, for the most part. I don’t walk through life willy-nilly. In recent years, I no longer make resolutions, not out of a lack of discipline, but more as a prudent choice. I set intentions, not unlike most people, but this year instead of forecasting deep into the year, I long to be more in the present. My 2025 top intention is the gift of the present (See what I did there?).

Let me explain. In no particular order of goods and not-so-greats: I said bye to a few very dear friends (some by boundary and others by circumstance), saw my mother through the eyes and heart of a caregiver, experienced a couple of professional rude awakenings and outstanding achievements, fell a little more in love with my husband’s character, watched in a moody, frustrating love as my daughter pushed through some personal growth. I laughed with a group of women who truly inspire me with their wisdom and hope. I learned the lessons I needed to learn. Yet, I anticipated them.

This year, I vow to live more presently, really live in the moment. I’m coupling anxious responsibility with a more relaxed presence of mind and heart. I’m not going to jump ahead thinking about Where do you see yourself in the next year/five years/10 years? No. I will see myself in the next five minutes in the conversation right in front of me. I’m leaving the past in the past and embracing life in it’s joyful, sometimes boring, often surprisingly unpredictable messiness. I now know I can’t control what happens. I can’t thrive for only special occasions. Today is the special occasion, even if it’s only Taco Tuesday or Garbage Day. It matters. Life, and its trials and triumphs, doesn’t happen to you but for you. And I was today years old when I learned that. Yay, me.

What do you want in 2025? I want to know. Please email me at themidife2021@gmail.com. I will cheer you on today.